I wrote this post soon after I made this blog which has hardly been touched because I have no clue what to blog about–I’m getting there, though. If you read what follows, note that I wrote this at a gloomy time in my life, fresh out of a dark place. Only reason it’s still here is strictly for sentimentality and because, as shitty as it is, it deserves to be here because it was the first time I was honest with myself in several years. 

In life we are presented with moments; many, many moments. Good moments, bad moments, moments of fear, anxiety, hate, love, embarrassment, lust, confusion, anxiety.

One can argue that by seizing any moment there are nearly an infinite amount of possibilities which can follow said moment. But in my opinion, there are two. With each moment, the infinite amount of possibilities to follow can be dumbed down, to two. Your reaction in every single moment you find yourself in will either turn out good, or bad. It is either a moment of growth or decline. You are either pushed forward or pulled backward. Positive or negative.

Ultimately, there are two outcomes to whatever moment you find yourself in.

My past year-and-a-bit, since I’ve moved back to Winnipeg from Edmonton, has been full of so many moments I can’t even begin to count. From turning down a solid management job the day after I moved home, to becoming an insurance & investment salesman (fucking really?), to failing miserably at starting an online business (fuckin’ really really?)

At the end of the day, I put myself into one fuckin’ tailspin and a half! I’m just getting out of it now–hardly. Barely.

Each of my out-of-the-ordinary-decisions from the day I arrived back home to the moment I wrote this post, have stuck me in a place where I’m actually…happy to be. And I am FAR from comfortable. In fact, I have more debt on my shoulders today than any other time in my short adult life and I’m earning less money these days than I did when I was a 14-year-old garbage man. I’ve discovered that in the most unexpected moments, the purest forms of beauty might lay hidden.

In moments of fear, doubt, and anxiety, I find solace with a pen in my hand scratching over the surface of naked, 80gsm paper. Doesn’t really matter what I write. But the bottom line of this post is that one day you might find pure beauty and bliss in a place you least expect.

Hiding underneath my soul’s current travesties, was something once loved and long forgotten.

I found my passion, and I seized the moment.

  • L.A.D.

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